Caring For Those You Don’t Like
Today we're diving into a topic that resonates with just about everyone. Loving those you'd rather not. Caring for the ones who push our buttons and just rub us the wrong way – people we’d rather just not be around.
This is one of those “where the rubber hits the road” struggles because this struggle connects to the heart of what the gospel is. What Jesus did on the cross and what he does continually is he loves and shows grace to those who are difficult, like me.
Often the end response is to simply avoid these folks or disengage. But when we avoid, even though we may find temporary relief, we're sort of enslaved by the struggle. It's controlling us. We're always looking for this person so we can move away from them. That's certainly not a victorious way to live.
Here's the thing: this is not a good reflection of Jesus. He didn't avoid and he doesn't avoid. While we were against him, he came and died for us. If God kept his distance until we reformed our conduct or attitude, there would be no hope. Instead, he came to us while we hated him.
Now don’t misunderstand. This doesn’t mean we must be best friends. Being best friends takes both people wanting the same thing, and only God knows how this will turn out. However, we should move toward who we should be in this.
Think of Judas, the disciple who betrayed Jesus and gave him into the hands of those who would kill him. In John 6, it clearly says that Jesus knew from the beginning who it was that would betray him. So here's the question, how do you think Jesus treated Judas day in and day out? Do you think Jesus shunned him or treated him as a second-class disciple? Do you think the other disciples picked up on some sort of problem that Jesus had with Judas?
Just before Jesus was betrayed, at the Last Supper, Jesus told everyone that one of them would betray him, but they couldn't figure out who that might be.
This tells me that Jesus treated Judas with love and inclusion. And actually, I would guess that Jesus really loved Judas because that's what he does.
So let me suggest three things to remember and two things to do:
First, remember, Jesus loved us to himself, and we must not, in pride, think we deserve his grace. We're not easy to love people.
Second, remember that God loves the one you are struggling with.
And third, remember that God has placed the person you are struggling with in your life. There is purpose in this connection.
Now, two things you should do:
First, pray. Luke 6:28 speaks to this. Pray for the one you are struggling with. Lift that person up to God and support him or her. And pray for yourself. Confess your sin and ask God to change your heart.
Second, move toward the person and engage.
Here's what's convicting for me. As a Christian, I imagine myself standing for Jesus in the face of adversity and being light in the darkness. But when it comes down to my day-to-day life, I can be pretty weak. I am weak, but he is strong.
So I need to lean on Jesus and turn away from self in this struggle. Here's Romans 12:20-21:
“If your enemy is hungry, feed him. If he is thirsty, give him something to drink. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”
Jesus, you are the one who came and died for us while we were deep in sin. I am weak and struggle deeply to be who you want me to be. Thank you for not leaving, but continuing to love me. Please cause me to care for others the way you care for me.
Song: Thank You Jesus